Mind Mastery

Can unconditional love really exist?

How could it?

And more importantly, why should it?

If one felt the same love for his wife’s murderer as he did for his wife, he would be classified as mentally deranged.

Loving your enemies is the most effective strategy your enemies have tricked you into believing, as it makes you putty in their hands, to do with you as they please without resistance.

To love an evil tyrant the same as you love your child just shows that your love is meaningless, it has no value as it is incapable of differentiating good from bad, right from wrong and is indiscriminate.

Why would such a general and uncalculated love have any worth if it is totally thoughtless?

To love someone you have never met shows that you are not loving their character, because you don’t know their character, so what is it showing that you love about them?

That you love their life?

Why would you love their life or even existence, you don’t know anything about this stranger.

To say you respect their right to life and freedom, now that’s different and appropriate.

But to randomly and irrationally feel love for people you do not know is unreasonable.

Why should you feel a strong affection for strangers, what is the purpose?

Why should you feel unconditional love for your mortal enemy, how is this based upon any reason?

What does this say about your sanity if you feel love for story characters and for people you have not seen, shook their hand, wrapped them in a hug, held conversations with them, eaten with them or enjoyed their company?

What does this say about your character that you somehow think and feel it is an honourable thing to feel love for strangers, characters out of books, imaginary beings and your enemies?

Why would it be honourable, righteous, virtuous or even good to feel love for those you don't know?

From a purely psychological point of view, how can a stable and grounded human have feelings of great love for people he doesn't know?

Why should one feel in such a way, what purpose does it really serve…?

How would ones behaviour change if he can be convinced that it is righteous to love people who cause him harm?

Is it more or less likely that those who cause him harm will stop if he shows love or does not?

We have history as evidence, loving your enemies only helps your enemies slaughter you like lambs as you lose the will to fight back and defend yourself because you value a feeling more than your life or the life of your family.

Why should you love yourself unconditionally?

This is saying that there is nothing you could do to not deserve your own love.

Is this arrogant or delusional?

If you had committed terrible sins, like cruelty, rape and torture, why would you be worthy and deserving of feeling great love, appreciation and fondness of yourself?

A psychopathic serial killer may feel this way about themselves after murdering a group of teenage girls, but they are mentally deranged so have a valid excuse.

If you cared enough about yourself to change and heal and become a better man and perhaps one day be worthy of your own love, then sure this is rational.

But to love yourself no matter what evil you do to others or even yourself just once again shows how the meaning of love has been abused and misused.

There is no such thing as unconditional love, it does not exist, love is always conditional.

Even to love unconditionally is conditional upon the belief that it is the right way to live to love everyone equally and unconditionally.

If you didn't believe this condition that for whatever reason you’re meant to be like this, then you wouldn't do it.

We have all the evidence in the world right before us that love is not unconditional.

Look how many loving marriages end up in divorce, the greatest example of true love outside of instinctively programmed family love.

People change, they find new interests and lose interest in each other.

Love is not a choice, it is something that happens to you.

Love is accidental.

Care is deliberate.

You must choose to care.

You don’t have much power at all about who you love.

When it comes to intimate love, it is said that the person you love doesn't make you love them.

Love is something you do to yourself in their absence.

Test is out for yourself next time you ‘fall’ in love, as in you accidentally tripped by mistake, it wasn't something you consciously and deliberately chose through a rational thought process.

You weren't sitting there weighing up the pros and cons of this person.

It was something you did to yourself in an almost unconscious and irrational way.

All you were doing was thinking about this particular person and the way you felt being around them and then wham!

All of a sudden you feel it and you know it, you’ve accidentally flipped the love switch while you were fumbling around in the half lit spaces of your memory and consciousness.

Love is a feeling.

Care are a set of demonstrable actions.

The only people you most likely really feel love for are intimate partners, which would be the strongest love, then your parents, your children and perhaps some close friends.

Even with you friends, sure you may really care about them, but if you are a male, it is doubtful you actually ‘love’ them.

Love is a feeling, there is a high chance you don't feel that particular feeling, the same feeling you feel for a partner, when you consider your friend.

What you feel is more likely to be akin to friendship, comradery, fellowship, mateship and fondness.

Why you say you love them is because you care a great deal about them and don't know how to express yourself accurately, so you say the closest word to what you think and feel, which is love.

When contemplating the love between mother, father, son and daughter, brother and sister, it is important to note that much of the love you may feel is based on survival instinct.

Feelings of strong affection towards our carers and those who we care for ensures the survival of our species.

Typically these people, parents, siblings and children are the people we have the most contact with, through thick and thin, for most of our lives.

This is also a big reason why we feel love for each other, because of all our shared experiences and getting to know each others stories and characters very deeply.

Family also has a stronger bond than typical friendships because it has been instinctively and socially ingrained into us that ‘we are family so we stick together’.

Even when there are arguments, fights, disagreements and lack of common interests, family members can still have strong bonds, irrespective of typical forms of rationality or reason.

To make reason of this, it is probably because deep down we know going through life is better with family than without it.

In circumstances where your family is abusive or dragging you down, then it is better to disavow them and create your own new family.

Telling someone you love them is sharing how you feel about them.

Telling someone you care about them is saying that you are prepared to take whatever action it takes to ensure their well being and happiness.

Some people say they love someone, like their partner or child, but treat them terribly.

How many stories have you heard about ‘loving’ parents that physically abused their children?

What about the man that beats up his girlfriend while telling her he loves her?

Far too many stories.

If these people truly cared and didn't just love their child or partner, do you think they could ever be so violently abusive?

Of course not.

Because care is a rational, deliberate and conscious choice made from an alignment and adherence to your values and convictions.

Love is just a nice feeling that you have very little control over.

You may see a car crash and pull over to help a stranger.

Why?

Not because you love this random stranger, you’ve never met them before and know nothing about them.

You don’t have any feelings towards them and if they did die, it really wouldn't bother you that much, compared to your child or parent dying in a car crash.

So why do you decide to help them?

Because you care.

You have built a set of values internally that states you will help others who are need because you would like strangers to help you if you were in need.

This is a great and very useful philosophy to have.

You care about others because you know it is the right thing to do.

As long as helping someone else doesn't detriment yourself, then you will help another in a time of need.

Love is obviously and clearly conditional, for if you consider the idea rationally for a minute or two you will see the answer to how it cannot be unconditional.

If you have a partner and they let themselves go, they get overweight and out of shape, if they stop liking all the things you had in common and start liking all the things you don't like, if their smell changes for the worse, if their voice changes, if they begin to disrespect you, if they start fights with all of your friends and always invite their obnoxious friends over whom you don't like, if they never clean up after themselves and demand you clean the dishes, wash their clothes, take out the rubbish and clean the toilet, which they leave all deliberately dirty just to annoy you, can you honestly say you would still love this person who is the total opposite of whom you married?

You probably wouldn't even care about them anymore as they have changed so much and have become a total thorn in your side.

You will most likely fall out of love with them before you stop caring about them.

You won’t be able to help how your heart feels, the love will drain right out of it and vanish.

Which is a good thing, imagine if you still felt love and allowed yourself to be treated like total garbage, a total waste of life to be absolutely disrespected and trampled in every way possible.

No, having conditions upon love is a good thing.

Why would your partner feel special if you felt love for everyone unconditionally?

Why would you be with them then, why choose just another human you feel unconditional love for?

Clearly you are not with them because of their character, because to appreciate someones character requires conditions.

Everyone you like and dislike is conditional upon particular aspects and specific quirks of their character.

It is totally conditional.

Which is fine, there is nothing wrong with that.

But there is something very wrong with deluding yourself into believing you have unconditional love for everyone equally.

Because you have accepted a lie as your truth, when it is not.

It is impossible to feel love for every single person in the world, or even for people you don’t know.

Sure you may feel a low level affection, fondness and appreciation for humans in general, but this is not ‘love’.

The idea of unconditional love is a dangerous one that moulds people into weak and trampable servants.

People who believe in unconditional love are more likely to be walked all over, used as a door matt, taken for granted and not appreciated by others.

They are also very easy to manipulate into giving their power, energy and finances away to others who are looking for easy targets to exploit.

Unconditional love believers can also be enslaved easily, as they don’t offer any resistance or fight back against their oppressors, because they ‘love’ them.

This could be considered an act of evil, to love your oppressors to the point you are unwilling to stand up for yourself and protect your children.

What could be more evil than willingly bowing to tyrants because you falsely believe “love is the greatest and most powerful” “love conquers all” and “love has a plan”.

No, this is fundamentally wrong.

You love you children conditionally because they are your children and they behave in a manner in which you could love them, meaning they don’t try to assault and kill you every day or do something else rather heinous.

Now imagine that you would sacrifice the lives of your children because you don’t believe in taking the life of someone who was evil because you felt unconditional love for them?

Or simpler yet, standing up to oppressors and fighting back to protect your children.

This is clearly saying you do not love or care for your children if you value the life of an evil tyrant over the life of your child.

What could possibly be the good that comes from the belief of unconditionally loving everyone?

You treat everyone with kindness and respect?

You don’t need to love someone to do that.

You become generous and hospitable?

Again, no love required.

You care about others well being and help those in need?

For the last time, love isn't necessary to do those things!

So why would the idea of unconditional love exist then if it doesn't actually serve any positive purpose?

If there is no good answer or reason, there must by logic be a bad one.

So think about it, what are the negative side effects of having unconditional love, which is to love someone with absolutely zero conditions, no questions asked, anything goes all the time, no matter how rude, disrespectful, sick, deranged, violent, cruel or evil?

Hmm. There doesn't seem to be a clear answer, does there…….?

Love can be wielded as a deadly weapon against those who primarily live by their feelings rather than their intellect.

Imagine if a man were to approach a woman at a bar and start talking to her.

She rejects him and tells him she has a boyfriend and she finds him uninteresting and unattractive.

The man slips a love inducing drug into her drink and walks away.

She drinks it and immediately feels the effects.

He walks back over and asks her is she wants to dance.

She excitedly agrees and begins to dance with him because she is feeling so much love.

He then invites her back to his house.

She agrees and they go back to his place.

He asks her to undress and she obeys without hesitation, excitedly undressing for this man she can direct the enormous love she feels in her heart.

They continue on and the man has his way with this woman he drugged, or did he?

Before the woman felt overwhelmed with love, she rationally rejected this man.

After she felt lot’s of love, she cheated on her boyfriend and slept with someone she found ugly and boring.

Just use your imagination to explore how love can be used against you, as a way to over rule your brain and thoughts with feeling, to make you do things you otherwise would not reasonably do.

Love is not evil by any means, but it can be used to do evil things.

Utopian Realism opposes that which is false and stands against lies.

Utopian Realism supports truth and what is true is that conditional love is healthy, unconditional love is not.

What is an even more powerful and important truth is the act of conditional caring, rather than just conditional love.

If an evil dictator had a car crash and you could either help him or let him die, what should you morally do?

This is the time when conditional care is important.

Morally, you should not help this evil dictator and should let them die.

If you help them and the survive, there is a very high chance they will continue to be an evil dictator, inflicting pain, suffering and torture on many, many people, most likely even yourself either directly or indirectly.

If you were to save him, you are now culpable and an accomplice to his crimes, because you had the power to stop him from continuing his reign of evil and you didn’t even have to do anything.

All you had to do is let him die.

Death is not nearly a terrible thing compared to torture and suffering.

Death is a release from the madness of this world and a new beginning.

You would not be doing anything wrong by letting someone evil die, but you certainly would be if you helped him get back onto his throne of destruction.

If you had no idea who he was, well then of course you help, because you cannot be blamed for what you did not know, unless everyone knew his face except for you because you chose to be ignorant.

It all depends on the circumstances, that is why love and care are conditional.

Because if they were actually unconditional, you would cause more harm than good.

Utopian Realism is the system for those who are intellectually sound and who desire to live a life that is true and real.

The truth may be ugly sometimes, or not what you want to hear, you may not like how it feels, but it is true that the truth is true and that a lie is false.

So if Utopian Realism is for you or not only depends upon one thing.

If you value truth more than lies.